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Okay so where was I?  Oh right, I had just got to the hospital, was checked (at 5.5 cm) and needed a rest from the ride into the hospital.  I laid down for a bit and just focused through the pain.  I held my husband's hand until he got tired of standing, when my mom would come in and take over.  Shortly after I got to the hospital my sister (who I also wanted as a support person in the room with me) arrived and came in the room to help with whatever I needed.  I really couldn't have asked for a better group of people with me through such an experience.  It was incredible to welcome our daughter into this world with people who would love and care for her just as much as I did by my side.  I really feel blessed to have had the 3 of them with me.

My midwife keep telling me what a great job I was doing and that if I felt up to it I should maybe get up and go for a walk.  I decided I'd give it a try and see if that would help progress things along.  I really don't have the exact times memorized because really this whole part of the process was much a blur to me.  I got out of bed, IV in tow and started to walk around the hallway.  The instant I got up and couldn't focus on my breathing I had a hard time getting through each contraction.  My sister walked with me pushing the IV tower along with us.  I stopped at each contraction to lean against the wall and rock and sway my hips and then we'd start back up again.  I didn't enjoy the walk and found the pain much to intense.  I think at one point after about 20 minutes, I made a short cut for myself (and sister with IV) and high tailed it through the nurses' station so I could get back to my room and gain control of the pain.  We got back to the room and I instantly went into my focus/breathing mode.  Lights dim, no one talking, etc.  It was wonderful to be in such control, I knew my body was doing what it was suppose to do and I just waited.

I was checked again at some point (I'll come back and fill in times when I have the papers in my hand) and was progressing well, my midwife thought it would be of benefit to break my bag of waters.  She did this which was such a weird sensation!  I just remember feeling like I had just peed the biggest pee I've ever peed, it was warm, wet and icky!  After my water was broken things really sped up, the contractions were intense and I really had to focus again, I laid on my side for the rest of the night concentrating as much as I could.  I remember at one point, I thought I was about to loose it, I couldn't gain control over the intense pain and I just wanted to scream.  My mom and sister really helped pull me back into things and helped me focus.  Evelyn knew the time was coming soon that I'd be pushing my wee little girl into this world and started to prepare for her birth.  She called the second midwife (Joan) and Joan started her drive into the hospital.

I had heard from quite a few people that your body just knows when to push, you'll just know.  I kept saying I don't know if I'm ready, when will I know, etc.  All of a sudden that urge came!  I had to push!  Evelyn checked me to make sure I was 100% dilated...I wasn't!  I still had a bit of a lip on my cervix but Evelyn felt confident that I could start to push with the help of her holding that lip back!  Let me tell you, this was certainly not the most comfortable thing to do. I started to push, at about 6:30a.m (May 3rd) using the squatting method.  I am so glad that I didn't have a big audience watching me, I thought for sure at some point I was going to fly off the bed.  With the help of my mom, sister, Joan, and my husband Chris I was able to lay down when I wasn't contracting and as soon as a contraction came I got up at the end of the bed in a squat to help push my little girl down.

I remember this time so well, I remember the excitement and the anticipation I felt knowing that soon my little girl would come into this world, we'd finally meet her after carrying her for 9 months.  We'd finally be able to hold her and snuggle her and give her the kisses we'd be anticipating for so long!  I joked, laughed, smiled and felt absolutely wonderful in this stage of my labor and delivery!  I'm not going to lie, it was intense and painful but there was something about it that was just magical!  All the pain I had felt before with each contraction was gone, I was on cloud 9!

At 7:00a.m the lip that had covered part of my cervix had finally moved and I was fully dilated!  15 minutes later my little Hannah entered this world, eyes wide open looking at her TeeTee (my sister) and Nana (my mom)!  I'll never forget the moment she slide out and into my arms!  We just stared at her in awe!  She was finally here and all ours!  I was in heaven!  I couldn't believe how amazing the whole journey was!  I did it!  I had made it!

Unfortunately, I did have a pretty significant tear which required an OB to repair.  This experience was horrible for me and just made me 100% confident in my decision to have a midwife care for me during my pregnancy, labor and delivery.  The OB walked into the room and ordered everyone to leave, I had to give up my little girl and was wheeled to the operating room where I was given an epidural to freeze my body from the waist down so she could repair my 4th degree tear.  I cried and cried and cried!  My little girl was in good hands with my mother and sister and I was in good hands with my midwife and husband by my side but I still felt like all I had worked for was gone, I still had to have that horrible needle in my spine, I was still wheeled to an obnoxiously bright operating room with a ton of people coming into the room and staring at my girly bits.  My little girl wasn't in my arms...I was hell!  I just wanted to go back to staring at my new little girl!  My midwife quickly realized this and asked if I would like her to get Hannah and bring her to me.  Of course I did!  She left the OR and came back with my bundle of joy! I cried the entire time I was being stitched up but all that really matter was my baby girl was born healthy and in my arms!

After the stitching was done, I was wheeled back to my room where everyone was waiting for me!  I was back on cloud 9 and feeling fantastic!  We started breastfeeding right away and things were just perfect!  We stayed in the hospital for 2 days, all my nurses were fantastic and super helpful!  I met with a few different midwifes from my clinic whole all though Hannah was perfect!  We left the hospital on a high note and things were just amazing from there on out!